Monday, 8 December 2008

Grace - 11 and a half months

So Grace is almost 1 years old. I am not quite sure how this has happened. How could the longest year of my life comprising of the least amount of sleep have suddenly passed so quickly? I don't have a baby, or a toddler, I have a diva/gangster. If Grace carries on this way she will be Rottingdean's first and youngest person to get an ASBO. In the last 2 weeks she has prank-called 999, stolen a toy doll from ASDA and been asked to leave the Library*.
*She was very upset Baby Boogie had finished and therefore had to go back into her buggy. (I was not at all upset the "boogieing" was finished. The official definition for Boogie is 'Boogie-Woogie - a lively form of rock 'n' roll '. Since when has "Old King Cole" been classed as Rock n' roll? Or "twinkle twinkle little star" complete with sign actions? Since when, in fact, has sitting in a library with lots of posh people who call their children Archie and Buddlia whilst drinking Earl Grey Tea and singing along with a woman named Nora who wears shoes that look like Cornish pasties been rock n' roll?!)

As well as all of this, Grace has started to display gansterish behaviour. She makes her hand into the shape of a gun (thumb up in the air, first two fingers poking out to make a barrel), points it at you and says "Dit". I don't know where she learnt it (although she has been spending alot of time with her Aunt Zoe...) but she does it all the time and it's getting a bit embarrassing. I worry her first word will be "Mo Fo" or something even more politically incorrect. I've tried to teach her other hand signs but she just looks at me, points her hand-gun and says "Dit dit". She even did it to Nora at Baby Boogie instead of clapping her hands.

As if all of that is not bad enough, Grace has entered the world of tantrums. I know I am supposed to ignore them, but it's quite hard to, especially as she does it in such a hilarious fashion, and for the most ridiculous reasons ever. If, for example - you say no to her pulling a heavy book off the table, or take move something out of her reach she throws herself on the floor and howls much like Eoghan did when Diana got booted out of Saturday night's X Factor. She doesn't like Eoghan anymore by the way. She has outgrown him (literally) and will only clap for JLS now.

I don't know where she gets this fickleness. She is the same about her food. Whenever you offer her anything she turns her face away and kicks you, so whatever you had on the spoon goes all over your outfit instead. It's a bit like that joke about keeping your windscreen wipers on full whenever you leave your car, thus avoiding parking tickets. You have to charge in, aiming for her mouth whilst making manic aeroplane noises and hoping for the best. I've been into the village today to buy her lots of 'finger foods' so she can feed herself/throw them on the floor/sit on them/rub them into the mat. Thank god James caved in and got me a cleaner... AND he took me away for a romantic weekend without Grace - she went to stay with her nanny and grandad.

I thought I would really hate leaving her, and at times I did, but it was so nice to have a break. What a shame James and I were so full of this cough/cold virus we spent the weekend in bed drinking lemsip! (It's just as well I did not get all excited he was going to propose and then all let down and moody when he didn't). Coming back to Grace was lovely, and I felt really good about being able to go away and enjoy myself without feeling guilty... until I went to see my great aunt who told me her nappy rash was because I'd "abandoned her all weekend". She always knows how to make me feel good about myself.

Grace came out with me to meet my old school friends at a reunion last weekend. I was so nervous about going. I thought I would feel out of place, boring and middle-aged, but I didn't at all. I had a great time. For the last year I've been in a baby-bubble, which has amazing, but it's good to re-enter the real world now and again, to have a meal with friends and talk about hair and make-up (not that we did talk about that actually, although I did notice they all had much shinier hair than me. They don't get it pulled by a sticky fingered monkey though - they are too busy getting their 8 hours sleep). Going out in town with them was like going back 10 years, especially when I text James to see where he was and he played hard to get and ignored me!!

I am so looking forward to this Christmas and Grace's first birthday. It's going to be fun. I've been reading her stories about Baby Jesus. (I point at the pictures of him in books and say "Look Grace, this is the Baby Jesus" she looks at him, makes her hand-gun and says "dit").

I think we are off to get the tree soon which Grace will love (until I tell her she can't touch it and then she will have a Eoghan-tears-tantrum).

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