Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Grace - 2 weeks old

Hello,

I can't believe I have turned into such a baby bore, but I seem to think everyone enjoys looking at photos of Grace-face as much as I do! If so then please see the latest collection... mainly of her sleeping - which I have to say she does very well indeed and for very long periods.

So, Grace is almost two weeks old. We have ventured out and about with buggies and slings and car seats.. a couple of hairy moments and slightly panicked breast-feeds in disabled loos but all in all I think I am getting the hang of things, and have become a whizz at working out very complicated poppers and zips and straps and quick release buttons. All the walking is good exercise as well, I am sort of back in my jeans.. (if you don't count being able to do up the top button anyway). Had a fit of "the baby blues" in Debenams the other day when the size 8 clothes I took to try on (in the overly-brightly lit changing rooms - NOT good for stretch marks!) did not fit... very embarrassing for James, having to lead a very hysterical sweating me out the shop as I sobbed "all the other girls are much skinnier than me, I am a wh-wha-WHALE, I will never be the same again" at the top of my voice.

I have managed to "get into" darts and all night test cricket matches on the TV, when you are up at 4am feeding a child who thinks being glued to your breast is the best place EVER and makes the most heartbreaking whimper when you try and detach her - you need something to entertain yourself..... I am also doing all the crosswords in both the Sun and the Mirror each day, sometimes the word search too, and even that one where you have to guess the letters.

I have managed to not talk nonsense in a high pitched voice, I chat to Grace all the time but try and keep the conversation sensible and informative. I've had a horrible chest infection since I got out of hospital however, so she probably thinks she is being bought up by Marge Simpson. She certainly looks at me strangely at times (normally out of one eye as she is just learning to focus on things, the other eye is normally looking in the other direction). She also has the odd uncontrollable neck spasm, so she sometimes behaves a bit like a dinosaur, a VERY pretty one though. It pains me to admit she looks just like her father, she does have my nose though, and my feet (thank god).

She has caught my cold, she sneezes and I cry because I feel so sorry for her. The doctor assures me she is fine and that it's nothing to worry about. It still pains me to hear her wheezing away in her moses basket so I have taken to curling up on the sofa with her, sniffing her head for hours, not sure this helps her, but it makes me feel better. I lose hours each day just gazing at her, I become fixated on how perfect her fingernails are, or how soft her cheeks are when I stroke them. It's funny, I helped make her, I lugged her round for months, I gave birth to her but I never ever really thought about what she would be like, or what it would feel like to hold her in my arms. I did not realise I would fall in love so completely and so helplessly. I tell myself I am in control and that she is not the boss of me - but deep down I know it's not true. She is enchanting and I am utterly under her spell.

So all in all things are going well. The midwife is very happy with us, she said I am good example of motherhood! Fancy that!!!! Apparently I am like a duck in water. I must admit I thought this parenting lark was going to be much harder ("Just you wait!" I hear you all cry) well, I will, and if she stays as delicious as this then I'll enjoy every second of it.


photos here

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=78495&id=632600721&op=6

Much love
XXX

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